Parenting Fail – My Bean Ate The Green Crayon

Yesterday, I went to bed feeling like I had aced motherhood for the day.

I had crafted, I had cooked healthy meals for Bean, I had cleaned and I had spent the afternoon unplugged chasing her around the playground at the local park.  Today, I feel as if I have barely survived thanks to one parenting fail after another. 

Yesterday, I was uber-productive. Yesterday, I was blessed with a three and a half hour nap and when the Bean woke up I was literally in a sweat from moving so fast.  Today, the Bean and I started our day at the farmers market and I decided to cook.  I decided to make homemade applesauce.  I also have the absolute easiest recipe.  So I came home and made the Bean lunch and while she ate, I began to peel apples. 

When she finished lunch, I looked around the kitchen covered in apple peels and, well, insert Parenting FAIL #1.  I walked into the living room and turned on the Wiggles.  Yup, I asked our dear friend the television to babysit until nap time as I finished the apples.

I took a break to get Bean down for a nap and once she was sleeping, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to bake, not one thing but two.  Yes, I decided that today would be the day of the apple.  I was going to make homemade applesauce, apple struedle and apple bran muffins (did I mention the laundry and the fact that this is the one night we have company coming over for dinner)?

I don’t know if the morning trip to market was responsible for me losing my mind but an hour and fifteen minutes later when the Bean woke up from her nap, the house looked like we had barely survived a bomb.  Fast forward to three cooking projects all going on at once and my Bean running circles around me.  There was no going back, the house was a disaster, I had to finish and clean, walking away was not an option.  I popped the Bean into her highchair and hit the art supplies. 

We began with markers and I switched to crayons when she would not stop putting the pink marker in her mouth (I know, it should have been an omen).  I looked away and suddenly had that mom feeling, my Bean was silent and had been for a few minutes, which means trouble.  I turned around and she was smiling happily so I smiled back and went to offer her a new crayon.  It was then that I realized the green crayon was no longer a whole crayon.  The end was missing and in its place were ragged baby teeth imprints.  Parenting FAIL #2.

I wish this is where my failure of a day took a u-turn to sunshine and roses but alas, it is not.  No I grabbed the crayon and said NO!, NO EATING crayons. She smiled sweetly.  I wrenched her mouth open and tried to scrape the crayon out of her mouth and even though she fought me, the minute I stopped she smiled and signed “please” as she pointed at the crayons and said PEAS Mommy?

 This is the moment where Parenting FAIL #3 occurs.  I tried to make her cry. I was frustrated (and trying to google poison control on my phone) and she was smiling, she was not concerned,  she was happy and content with her green wax covered teeth.  I wanted her to understand, I tried making a mean face and yelling NO Crayons, she smiled. I pulled her out of her chair and made her sit on the floor as I said NO CRAYONS, she smiled back sweetly.

Finally,  I released her to play,  googled “my kid ate a crayon” and when I realized she would be fine,  I went and pulled open the doors to the Tupperware so she could play while I finished cleaning up.  I am not upset that the Bean ate a crayon, I figure that is a rite of passage of some sorts.  I am disappointed in how I handled it, I am disappointed in my desire to make her cry to get her to understand. No,  today was definitely not my best day but we do have fresh applesauce and well tomorrow is another day.